I’m not one to shy away from the usual spiders, or smelly baby diapers or even haunted houses (you can read about my experience sleeping over in a haunted plantation house in Louisiana here).
But I do have a list of things that totally creep me out. Okay, so I know most of these are fairly random, but every time I come across one of the things below, I can’t help but think, “AHHH!” “UGH!” or “SHUDDER”–perhaps all three at once.
1. Noses
My close friends and family know about this one all too well and sometimes like to torture me with it. I have looked after my nieces and nephew many times, so I am completely okay with tending to the “messier” parts of life (although, “Can you wipe my bum?” still gives me reason to pause). I’ve also cared for a few intoxicated friends now again (I won’t name names, but rumour has it 5-Hour Energy shots are a bad choice for a night out…so is a carb-free diet). But the minute a child–even one I love dearly–runs in with a dripping nose, I involuntarily find myself running from the room, trying not to make my gagging noises audible from space. And yes, I have returned when no other adult could be found within a four-mile radius to help with aforementioned condition, in order to wipe the mess away (with my eyes closed), but I am thinking “AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!” the whole time.
It’s even worse when it happens with adults. They intentionally go digging around in there, IN PUBLIC (transit). And once you see it, you can’t erase it from your memory by thoughts of anything else but…I can’t even continue this thought…
2. Libraries
This one might be the most random. I love books. Like love, love, love books. But libraries creep me right out. They’re too quiet. Enforced silence is unsettling. Ugh. I also totally believe that creepy people are hiding in the stacks, waiting to do creepy things to unsuspecting browsers, while the musty smell and weird lighting help to cover their tracks.
Professor Plum, with the candlestick in the library. See?
3. Toe Socks and Shoes
My best guest at why this is so creepy is that it stems from not particularly liking feet, or people touching my feet or paying people to touch my feet (pedicures, people–where did your mind go?). So, I don’t get why someone would willingly sport apparel that shoves a fair bit of material in between each toe crevasse. They’re weird enough to see other people in them, but then I think about someone cramming my tootsies into those contraptions and I shudder. Out loud. *shudder*
4. Puppets
UGH. ’nuff said.
5. Zombie Movies
Even the funny ones. I can’t handle all the blood and unpredictability. Zombies don’t plot or scheme or think about survival. They are mindless and don’t even have the gaul to care about their villain appearance (which, to me, is important for character development). My boyfriend tried to get me to watch Zombieland with him, with the promise that I only had to sit through 15 minutes, and if I didn’t like it, we could turn it off. He was confident that I would be drawn in by the dry humour of the normally hilarious Jesse Eisenberg as he plays a neurotic character wondering who to trust (hint: not the zombies or the pretty girls, like Emma Stone) in a world gone so mad that the likes of Woody Harrelson (whom you know is never going to play a sane character) are the most likely to survive. He was sure that the funny element would be enough to make me forget, so I could laugh along with him. He was also wrong.
Ahhh, ugh, shudder and all that.
What creeps you out? Extremely random blog posts? (I hope not)
